twinkle in the darkened sky.

that's fast.

2011-06-29T15:39:00.001+08:00

seems like i'm really motivated to create a new blog... so here it is!
do re-link and continue to follow me yeah, friends :D

http://lifeisjustlikethat.weebly.com

it's the end here,
but over there,
it's a brand new beginning.

Cheers
Avelyn

500th.

2011-06-28T15:23:00.001+08:00

This marks my 500th post... and it may very well be the last.
This blog went through all the up and down with me & i must say, i'm kinda reluctant to shut it down.
But, why not have a new beginning, a fresh start?

why keep an archive full of past when they no longer matter?
i don't wanna look back anymore because i'm loving the present and this is how i'll go from here on.
plus, seriously i think i've been ranting and rambling enough. time to grow up and try not to be so shallow. lol. note the word 'try'.

of course, that doesn't been i will stop blogging all together.
will update you guys about my new blog link! soon, i hope.

just a photo to end the post...
i don't think dear reads my blog anymore though. hah. so, i guess he wouldn't complain if i post his photo here. heheheee. cute matching shirt with the background, don't you think? i chose the shirt fyi, if you haven't already guessed. lol.

till then~!

avelyn
you make me a fortunate girl (:

it's about time i revive my dead blog.

2011-06-03T16:08:00.000+08:00

YEAR 3 IS JUST TOO BUSY FOR MY OWN GOOD.

but, oh wells. that's life. sigh. (:
how time flies, it's already june. a few more months more, i'll be on internship.
in mediacorp, i hope. my interview's on tuesday, wish me luck. i really want the job even though the pay sucks & it's damn far. who cares, it's worth it!
i've been trying out lotsa things this sem... learning, adapting, experiencing...
& even though life isn't as good as it seems in pictures, i shall let you guys see the good side of it. hahah.
and here it is:

photo with DASMOND KOH XU ZHENG RONG :D

till then~
avelyn

pause.

2011-04-25T10:49:00.000+08:00

i guess every blogger at some point in time will feel the lack of motivation to update and same for me.
i don't really wanna lay every bit of my life all out here already. i mean, if you know me, you would know, not because you read about it here.

so i guess i will leave this space for blogging out feelings and all. for a while, there's gonna be no photos.
hah welcome to facebook stalk me though.

anyway i've been really paranoid abt health. it's like you might be suffering from something the whole life and don't know about it and one day... it will dawn on you like a bomb. if you have people around you with stuff like that happening to them, maybe you would become paranoid too. i wanna grow up, earn some bucks & get a full body health check-up manz.

i have the sudden urge to let everyone know that they are important to me...
no idea why.

anyway i'm starting to feel the stress.
i'm feeling pretty sick right now.
and ... i'm trying to brighten myself in every single way.
(:

i love my family, friends & my boyfriend. :D
random much?

avelyn

hiatus.

2011-04-07T12:30:00.008+08:00

4 days 2 nights at Pulau Ubin

it seemed like a really rocky journey to me.
went through up and downs.. and man, we were really tired at times.
i actually cab all the way to the jetty. $32 cab fee okk.
it's a long story, dont wanna elaborate. but i really freaked out when i'm abt to miss the boat.
and, i'm so glad i made it.
great friends, great activities there. almost all my team mates reached the top of the rockclimbing!
the guys were really efficient at tent pitching and stuff and the girls always stick together.
despite us from different ccas and are all leaders, we managed to get along and no conflicts. how cool is that? :D
and kayaking... it felt like an eternity. when we kayak 5hours ard the island. think palau ubin is small?
try kayaking AROUND it.
it's not a luxury camp. we peed in the sea, we ate biscuits//bread for lunch sometimes, we stink like crazy. oh oh yea, big i got home with (very) swollen lips, lost my voice and twisted my finger.
but i must say, the journey is worth it.
hope the Sakura buffet gathering with camp-mates will come soon!

made a random poem for reflection and was made to recite it to the whole camp.
was kinda embarrassed. &it seems like many people are asking me for a copy. lol.
anyw here it is:

"it was bright and sunny
it's funny
how all of us were away yakking
even when we are busy kayaking

it was dark and starry
so tired, our eyes were getting teary
together we snuggled in the tents we carefully pitched
with lotsa laughter in high-pitch

sun-burns and mosquito bites
we have been through three nights
in our solemn tones
we all said, 'Goodbye'. " -avel

belated present from dy, dx, wj, lq, yl!

clutch from new look at 2 packs of facial masks~
so nice of them to still remember (: 'thanks!'

grp pic with the girls!

sorting &packing books seem endless...

working at Clementi new lib had been fun. didn't know behind-the-scenes is such hard work.
worked with people of all ages... sec4 grads, poly grads, same age, aunties!
though it's boring and tiring, the library is full of our noises!
yesterday was the last day~
boss edward treated us PIZZA HUT.
the bill? $291.90 for the 26 of us. lol.

anyway got my electives yesterday!
got my 3 top choices: onlineJ, PhotoJ, PR
and there's no school for me on tuesdays!
but now, i'm thinking abt how to get the $$$ for DSLR...
and how much i wish all my friends (good one) are in ALL my classes.
at least i have charlene & julie & maybe cal for some of the classes here & there..
haiz.

life been busy, stressful and tiring.
but in between, i managed to catch some movies with dear.
little red riding hood and world invasion: battle L.A
i think world invasion is way coooolll. enjoyed it much.

argh having a splitting headache now.
have been emo'ing... time to stop,
and start organising things like dear said.

avelyn
afraid of the one day
when you have no more patience
for me.

if i can't take it in, i'm gonna pour it out.

2011-04-05T22:52:00.002+08:00

i thought the next time i blog, it would be happy updates on my life... my OBS camp and etc..
was thinking tmr is the last day of work and i can't type a long post then.
but i srsly can't stand it anymore.
all the CCA stuffs are getting into me.

what bullshit that being P is not much pressure and that i have other committee members to fall back on when i'm occupied/busy. how to fall back on when some don't attend meetings, some don't check emails, some don't take the initiative to help/suggest, some just simply doing things as a chore. i mean, i'm not saying i'm damn good, i feel/do that sometimes too. but? at least I TRIED and I CARE.

and what's with advisors?
saying their busy blahblahblah SO ARE WE. and stop fucking criticise when you don't give CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS. stop thinking from your point of view. so what if you are superior. HAVE SOME EMPATHY MDM.
i got ENOUGH. every day cca stuffs it's on my mind. when i'm tired BEYOND WORDS after work and eyes are abt to close, i still think about 'how ah.. got this haven't do, that haven't submit, don't know how meetup went... blahblah'
and i'm starting to feel UNJUSTIFIED whenever i think about whether others care.
i know some did their part, i know some do care.
but what i'm feeling, it's a COLLATION of their uncertainties.

all come to me, i'm supposed to have answers, i'm supposed to have time to do everything. but I DON'T. and i'm supposed to substitute anyone who are busy and i'm supposed to remind everyone to do their stuffs. BUT HEY, THAT'S NOT MY JOB. i mean I DONT MIND, I UNDERSTAND. but i really CAN'T COPE.
I DONT WANNA GRUMBLE, COMPLAIN OR WHAT. BUT I.AM.SO.TIRED.

so shagged.
so worried.
so stressed.
so fed up.
and there's no one to share them.

ps: ignore the rant. sorry for the angry words.

avel

recently.

2011-03-20T21:08:00.002+08:00

D3100 selling for $879 with lots of FREEBIES! i really wanted that. too bad :/

Palprints colleagues at IT Fair & Project Superstar Avril (:

had a trim before by coming ubin camp cos i predict it's gonna be real sunny there. cut only cost $3.90 at Clementi's new salon. lol. it's so thinnnnn now. i think i look fat. sadddd.

cal & julie came to my house for the first time! nice slacking & camwhoring~

my failed attempt at pressed flower; the plastic doesn't stick :(

& so i went to laminate it! yay, it's so pretty. i'm glad it will never wilt now.

something interesting? LOL.

anyway... TODAY SUCKS.
should know i hate last minute changes by now..
you are the one who said you wanna meet.
you are the one who said we shouldn't too.
and my whole day?
i'm just rotting around at home for you.
being nonchalant only makes me madder.
i'm not in the mood for sweet words.

and, work is starting soon.
time with you gonna get lesser and lesser.
but maybe i'm the only one who's bothered.

ubin camp starts on tuesday. shall be MIA for 4 days, peeps.
after which i'm juggling a job at Clementi's new library and P3 Chinese tuition.
working EVERYday. try date me, i'll try my best. lol.
all for the sake of fast cash. i need that.

Cheers
avelyn

19th birth'week'!

2011-03-08T17:26:00.003+08:00

& there i let the pictures say the words. :D

so, here's the story of my march:
1/3: study! (Trying to)
2/3: PR exam! (it's alright, just a little tougher)

3/3: boring PPP enrichment! went to collect swensen's icecream cake at JP with Julie and went home to celebrate with family! mum cooked a feast & the cake is just so niceeeee.
4/3: dear surprised me at my doorstep with a birthday song & a BOUQUET OF SUNFLOWERS! it's so sweet and pretty! we ate lunch & chat lots at my house. it was an awesome day after that with GNOMEO&JULIET and NANDO'S! dear even bought some earring which caught my eyes at douby gauht. oh yeah, we definitely had fun at ARCADE! :D dear stayed till midnight to wish me happy birthday! hehee.

5/3: MY BIRTHDAY (the exact date). plans got a little delayed & i met up with tricia girl & JJ at 4pm @ bugis! ate at MA MAISON <3 till sooooo full. then they surprised me with a small chocolate cake! afther that JJ got to go off to settle some stuffs so me and tricia went SHOPPING at bugis street. i bought 1 dress and 1 long tanktop with cardigan! tricia bought much more but i made myself stop cos needa save $$$. then, we went to get the complimentary icecream at SWENSENS! hah. got my present at the end of the day. it's like a mixture of everything! necklance, earrings, nail polish of my fav colours!

6/3: met up with jess and carmen at JP! they surprised me with another CAKE! but this time, it's blueberry! then, we watched I AM NUMBER FOUR! the show's damn nice & the actor's quite hot (in my opinion). we all enjoyed it. then we camwhored abit and me & carmen got to leave. thanks for the halter-neck dress they bought for me! after that i went to GODMA'S place for EGG VERMICELLI! yummyumm. played with godsis iPhone. the lomocamera Julie intro me is really addictive for zilian'ing! hah.

THANKS TO ALL FOR THE WISHES, TEXTS, OUTINGS & GIFTS!
happy birthday to myself!
lol. celebrated with 5 groups of family & friends, in 4 days, 3 cakes, 2 awesome movies, 1 very happy birthday girl. did i say? it's really TIME TO CUT FATS! lol! >.<

anyways, like i told tricia... as happy as my whole birthday was, i felt as if my birthday comes at a wrong timing or it's unlucky or smt. because, many of my friends seem to meet with something unfortunate or are unhappy etc during this period. shall not list who or what, but to all my friends who are feeling down... I PRAY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART FOR THINGS TO GET BETTER FOR YA! & remember, I LOVE YOU ALL!
there's always a balance; when you feel like things couldn't get any worse, it most likely couldn't. & look forward for happier things to come. they will, they really will. just like how there's a sunrise the next day after a sunset. (:

phew. what a long post. gonna take a break.
LOL. see ya, peeps ;)

avelyn

oscars & commis exam.

2011-02-28T23:16:00.003+08:00

PHEW, commis is OVER. & i actually feel good about an exam paper this time round!
and so slacking begins... even though my next paper is the day after tmr & i'm so not confident.

i never thought i'll be interested in Oscars but i guess Gossip Girl did have some influence on me.
here are some photos!

don't like the puffy part of her dress but red suits her and she's stunning anyway so who cares! hah.

typical white bridal like dress but nicee~

love the purple shade & the subtle sexiness! heh.

who says you can't be hot when you're old?

it's a new look... but i still love her! such a sweet face & good acting!

lastly, some good films to catch! i've only watched 3 out of all these. :/ some aren't my taste though..

PR exam is on wednesday! hope it's easy, 'cos i'm not at all prepared!

~~maybe it's not supposed to be that way~~

~~but i just wish~~

~~you treat me like i do for you.~~

avelyn
the big day is approaching. (:

doubts.

2011-02-20T23:09:00.001+08:00

doubt is like a seed
once planted
it stays rooted.
-----
let's put aside those people,
people who my doubts are proven true..
let's talk about doubts about myself..
maybe photojournalism isn't such a good idea?

i'm like a complete novice.
i don't even have a DSLR.
what makes me think i can like, SNAP,
& catch up with the others just like that?

oh wells. but, did i mention?
me & julie's photoessay got an A+.
it came as a surprise & shock.
to those who look down on us?
IN. YOUR. FACE, dude & dudettes.
i was the writer and kudos to julie for the awesome pics.
:D

same for upcoming exams...
i'm determined to score well.
because as much as i doubt myself,
i believe no matter what i'm still above those who thought less of me.
because,
such people - i despise them.

didn't expect myself to type such a harsh post.
these days have been much empty.
studying in the day, watching Fringe at night.
the routine goes on.
i feel like something's missing in my life.

avelyn

2011 HAPPENINGS.

2011-02-18T00:15:00.002+08:00

MY CNY TRANSFORMATION~

cross visiting with Jess & Carmen! hah some new pose we invented? LOL.

triple date for CNY with tricia & JJ :D

C3 gathering & cny visit @ Ms Quek's house (which is just opposite me!)

me & dearest.

looking from all the pictures, all that conjured are fond memories
i wish i could stop here, nothing more
only so, life would seem so good
only that, it isn't
but i would give nothing in exchange
for these laughters, these people
i'm glad the tough times are over for now, enough to let me pause & reminisce.

ps: more updates next time! (:

avelyn

happy CNY!

2011-02-02T14:39:00.003+08:00

it's so sad that we still have school on CNY.
oh well. i don feel the cny mood at all. still...
HAPPY CNY TO ALL!

i'm so lazy to update.
but let me share some happy pics of the past few days~

advanced reunion dinner @godma's place.

new haircut!

specs or w/o really make a diff.

i painted it myself! nice eh?

finally having some quality time with dearest~

finding Nemo? they keep hiding from me lah! >:/

DORAEMONNNN!

i found a new way to de-stress,
editting & photoshopping my photos~
LOL. or rather, it's just for the sake of killing boredom
& my own vanity.

and, hell yeah i passed my jap re-test. :D

Cheers
avelyn

screw the assholes&cherish Mr.Nice

2011-01-28T23:09:00.000+08:00

many of my close friends are in a relationship.
some are happy, some are in a dilemma while some are just not happy at all.
i'm happy for those who are really happy,
i'm here to listen and help give advice for those who are confused,
and i'm here to scold the jerks for those who are feeling damn fcuked up because of their bfs.

i'm not saying i'm in a very good position to do all these.
it's just that it's the least i can do.
&just wish that they know that besides their bf, i'm here when their bf isn't.

and seriously? screw those jerks.
i know sometime you just want to prolong the relationship and hold it there a little longer.
but what's the point when you know he's not going to be in your future?
you're just prolonging the pain.

but on the other hand,
sometimes you're forced to be a bitch.
because your heart don't tally with your brain..
oh wells.

anyway. it's been a hard time.
me falling sick and all. projects. blah blah blah.

to my close/best friends: julie, calista, charlene, jesslyn, carmen, tricia, jiunjia
let's keep our friendship going! :D
i think i achieved balance of some sort. i have a few from poly, a few from pri.sch, a few from sec.sch. lol.

sudden randomness.
haha. anyway, i've been planning for my BIRTHDAY IN MARCH!
so you girls make your time free mannnn. heh. lol.
thick skin*

i hope cny comes faster because that = no schoolwork for a few days.

avelyn

letting my hair down.

2011-01-23T14:31:00.002+08:00

awesome night out!

and so i went, in the end. i didn't regret. ;)

humorous cab driver.
happy celebration, drinking, chatting & camwhoring.
entrance fee cut by half.
crazy dancing till.. 3.30am.
chilling out till 4 odds.
staying over at jj's place and talked till 6 odds.
it's all so happening, i forgot all my worries for that whole night. felt so HIGH.
it feels great with the people there. what could be better? my bff, long-time-no-see sec friends & my cool seniors. :D
HAPPY BDAY, DINGYANG!

so much for my first clubbing experience at Phuture. it will be a memory.
felt sorry for KG who cant find her hp & justin who vomitted though.
may things go well for them.

haha i'm too lazy to type a long post.
but seriously, you have to be there to feel it.
words aint enough.

after effects?
i felt that i'm back into the boring world
with lots for me to worry about.
haiz. the reality.

i had a shitty time recently. endless schoolwork, lack of sleep and haven't been in touch with dear either. may dear get well soon. things with some of my friends are not too well. i'm glad some understands and make up with me almost instantly but some don't. but i think it is mutual. the resentment. maybe it's really me that's not trying hard enough. i'll put in effort, i'll try. but sometimes, i just wish friendship isn't a stressful affair.

Friday was like a reward sent from heaven. i don't think i was quite myself.
i hope i won't be judged and still have some of my image preserved. hah.
shall CHIONG till CNY! gogogo, just a little bit more.

avelyn

"Did you ever notice, when people tell you you've changed,
its only because you stopped acting the way they want you to act" -PassionQuotes on twitter.

solitude.

2011-01-17T00:50:00.001+08:00

don't act like you understand when you don't.
don't assume you have the worst on your lot and everyone's much better off.
don't place your expectations on others.
don't think that everything is alright when you fail to realise it's not.
don't blame it on me when i'm just following what you usually do.
don't do things half-hearted if you really care.

i may/may not be referring to anybody (one/more than one).
just thoughts that came to my mind.
so don't come asking.
but i think if you are thinking if i'm referring to you,
that shows something to yourself, isn't it.

i don't needa explain to anybody.
i think i deserve at least just that.
nowadays i don't really feel like talking.
i just want to get through with life
and overcome the rough patch.
i think just that alone takes a lot of effort already.

i realise i swear a lot lately.
and the resolution to stop is diminishing.
maybe i shall start after all these is over.

what i'm feeling inside?
i don't really know.
but it feels like a time-bomb,
going to explode
really soon.

avelyn
i.just.need.solitude.for.a.while.

life.

2011-01-13T23:17:00.002+08:00

life's pretty screwed up.
i'm happy that grades are pretty decent so far though.
but that's all to it.
don't feel like talking/updating just yet...

just wanna say,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CALISTA!

avelyn

2010 ended & started with a BANG.

2011-01-04T15:25:00.001+08:00

31/12/2010

exchanged advance anniversary presents during stayover at JJ's house!

hope he like the video i made! (: kekez.

first time at Marina Bay Sands! posh mall, beautiful xmas tree. :D

Played the new party game i bought: "Revelation" till 5.30am!!! yawns*

sumptuous steamboat! we bought so much we can't even finish! hahah.

with tricia ah girl waiting for countdown at Marina!

FIREWORKS with dear! memorable~

at marina bay sands~

dear, me, bk, tricia, jj, lun - Triple Date! Girls in black! ;)

1/1/2011

with all the partying last night and me sleeping at 5.30am... it's amazing i'm still awake.

and so when i woke at 10am, i was like 'OMG, i'm late but i don't wanna get up'. hahah.

end up? cabbing to Chevrons to meet C3 peeps :D

Han's Cafe sorta sucks but it was nice catching up! too bad Ms Quek was sick.

tata~ C3 FTW!

the kite-flying plan was cancelled (even after we especially went to Giant to buy the kites) because of the rain! T.T we end up making a veryyyy sudden decision to go to my house! hahaha. we played Revelation again and it was.... fun finding out secrets. lol. i kena a lot of forfeits lor. ate 4 oranges and 2 cups of awful fruit punch. wth, i'm the host leh! haha but funnnn :D

at my house!

Ms Quek treated us to dinner at JP's Zhou's Kitchen in the evening! (:

went for table pool & swimming pool at tricia's condo during the night! end up doing more chatting instead haha.

managed to catch the last bus home. how was i even still awake then?

i drank a can of red bull. lol.

2/1/2011

but fun is never enough. when i first met dear, i could barely keep my eyes open no matter how hard i try. i just slept on the bus and mrt rides. i felt so guilty. it was when i ate and hit the ocean later when i got more energised!

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY, DEAR! love you lots.

had fun dipping into the water, playing beach ball and building sand 'castles' at Sentosa's Palawan Beach!

dear prepared sandwiches while i got the fruits & drinks for picnic :D
we're lucky that it only started to rain at 3.45pm when we just about to leave!
the beach pants i got for him fits him well and looks good! yay.

xmas tree at vivo!

some cool stuffs i spotted at Sentosa:

made of alchohol bottles!

they are chocolates, if you don't know yet.

creative much? (:

had to cut out outing short as it's Mum's birthday as well!
went to JP to dinner with family and big bro's gf.
makes me wonder how i got together with dear last year ON my mum's birthday. lol.
oh well just have to make do with that and maybe... next year i could bring him along to celebrate's mum's bday! hahahaha. i wish.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEAREST MUMMY!

3/1/2011

First day of school! suntanned face & new schoolbag!

it's so FURRYY and huggable! thanks dear for it! miss bagpacks. feel so happppyy carrying it!

Today

lessons all CANCELLED! thank goodness! finally have time to SLEEP and do some assignments!

PAST FEW DAYS HAVE BEEN A BLAST!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

MAY 2011 BE BETTER THAN 2010!

avelyn

plain Jane in dull Singapore.

2010-12-29T09:51:00.003+08:00

life is so short.
it's no meaning if we just spend it by going through the motions, mug and slog.
look at those people partying and doing crazy stuffs out there; i want to be like them.
& so, i might just study overseas. (:

avelyn

heartbreakingly awesome.

2010-12-26T15:14:00.000+08:00

'I'm In Here' Lyrics
Artist(Band): Sia

I'm in here, can anybody see me?
Can anybody help?

I'm in here, a prisoner of history,
Can anybody help?

Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for,
You to come rescue me,
I need you to hold,
All of the sadness I can not,
Living inside of me.

I'm in here, I'm trying to tell you something,
Can anybody help?

I'm in here, I'm calling out but you can't hear,
Can anybody help?

Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for,
You to come rescue me,
I need you to hold,
All of the sadness I can not,
Living inside of me.

I'm crying out, I'm breaking down,
I am fearing it all,
Stuck inside these walls,
Tell me there is hope for me
Is anybody out there listening?

Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for,
You to come rescue me,
I need you to hold,
All of the sadness I can not,
Living inside of me.

Can't you hear my call?
Are you coming to get me now?
I've been waiting for,
You to come rescue me,
I need you to hold,
All of the sadness I can not,
Living inside of me.

I'm in here, can anybody see me?
Can anybody help?

Avelyn
ps: i can't describe how addicted i am to gossip girl & how much i love it. (:

Pre-Christmas!

2010-12-24T19:54:00.001+08:00

Went to CSI exhibition for project. was really cool. will post my review up soon!

retro? LOL.

bff ever :D

me & dearest.

finally got the dino into the picture!

lazy to post up everything so here's the photo spam. lol.
finally it's holidays! but ironically, NOT too. all the assignments are turning holidays into hell.
even with christmas/new year going on, we still gotta complete 4 assignments in two weeks.
how evil school is. argh.
I HAVEN'T START ON ANYTHING. dieeeeeeeeeee. >.<

did a little shopping with jess the other day:
- sandals from bugis ($10) : it was a really good buy because it's comfy &has a good sole
- floral dress from Cotton On ($10) : it's really dirt cheap there right now. go shop if you haven't! the dress feels so niceeee soft and cold and smooth. lol.
- Grace's bday present (her party's coming up on sunday!)

saw this cute figure at Bugis's fruit juice stall. creative much? lol.

yesterday was great. at advanced celebration with dear because he's going m'sia with family for christmas tmr. watched Dear John at my house, cooked lunch for him, exchanged christmas presents, walk around & watch Gulliver's Travels at JP. the movie was funny & meaningful. i like :D
oh ya, i bought canvas shoes from Rubi and $5!!! HOW CHEAP IS THAT. awesome man.
somehow, yesterday felt special. idk why. hehee. (:
time flies and it's already almost one year. last christmas we aren't even together yet. haha.
anyway godsis's dress fits me well and looks really good with my white cashmere scarf! yay.

Merry christmas to dear!

dear's phail attempt to look snobbish. kekex.

my face looks seriously fat. oh well, whatever.

i'm glad i've straightened things out with my Bff.
i didn't thought it was possible, but it did.
&it's great that i've got it off my chest.
things are definitely gonna be better.
i hope things go the same for dear & his friends. =/

addicted to GG! i wish season 4 would be complete soon, then i can download it! their lives are so happening and they are either pretty babes/handsome dudes! & their clothes are like perfect. glamourous & all. man, i would die to be like that.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE! :D

avelyn

demotivated.

2010-12-16T18:29:00.000+08:00

sometimes i just don't know why i try so hard,
sometimes i question myself if it's worth it,
sometimes i just don't get what i worked for.

it's like when you be a good student
& ask questions to clarify,
you get scolded.

when you be a good student
& keep going for consultations
but get bad grades still.

when you be a good student
& hand up your assignments
only to get back not know why you got wrong.

when you try hard to be somebody
reality slaps
and you aren't anybody;
you are a nobody.

when you got tired
you hang on and keep going
only to realise you don't know why you're doing it.

because
nothing ever pays you back
for your effort.

and you can just say
fuck my life.

avelyn
i don't expect anyone to understand.

deadlines.

2010-12-15T12:48:00.000+08:00

mental note to myself:
finish commis draft tonight.
finish FA2 draft and commis final on thurs.
submit commis and relax with dear and maybe take photos for FA2 on friday.
finish FA2 final on saturday.
Finish FA2 report on sunday and have Jap tuition.
submit FA2 on monday and go for BGC.

I CAN DO IT.

avelyn

a day of randomness.

2010-12-11T18:27:00.006+08:00

i WAS doing FA2. really, i was.
but i am not now.
power of digressing.

act cute much? heh. i painted my nails!

bought this awesome-looking mascara for myself & started a blogshop!

Check out the details and support me at
http://lovedummies.blogspot.com/ !:D

anyway, fellow ngee ann friends, you guys should really try out Studio27.
it's so awesome. i've always felt so lazy to try but when i did, i was like why the hell haven't i go there before?! HAHA.

avelyn

slimming scheme.

2010-12-08T16:52:00.000+08:00

MY SLIMMING PLAN:
1. No fried food.
2. 8 glasses of plain water/day.
3. Exercise once fortnightly.
4. No snacks for me in lectures.
5. Eat meals on time.
6. No milk/milo/soft drinks.
7. Eat more fruits.
*still not gonna eat veggie
*still not gonna go on diet cos it's stupid

I'm going to do this TILL CNY!
i hope to be like 48KG? it's not much, so pleaseeee i hope i achieve it! :D

ps: radio is stressful.

avelyn
disconnected
from
you

reflection.

2010-12-07T09:23:00.001+08:00

it's a long bus ride to school today.
as usual, my thoughts drifted off to heavy things like schoolwork, future and more work.
then, i started thinking about the past.

it's funny how many people think of me as a cheery girl nowadays. i mean, it's great. but i guess there's a side of me they probably wouldn't know/see/understand ever. sometimes i still look back at my old posts in my private blog/this blog and got a peep at the past i don't ever want to recall. so why do i still read them? i guess, whenever life gets me down nowadays, looking at the posts made me realise nothing is worse than how i felt back then. if you guys think you have seen the down side of me recently, then you haven't seen the real thing. honestly? i felt like life was over.

it is not true that you get depressed when you have a reason for it. there are times, i don't even know why. i hated myself much for it.

sometimes, i still got the urge to sink back to the old habits, the darkness. but i resisted. the urge will stay with me perhaps always or maybe till someday, i don't know. but i've gotten out of it and i will forever fight it. people say the past makes you stronger; it's true.

there are times i may seem or even act like a kid but i really want to be like that. for life to be simple and to be happy for the slightest thing. & i realise the importance of many people around me. people that made me feel safe to be just the way i am. i pray, that they will never leave me.

nah, i'll never say what the other side of me was. because, this is me now.
the happier me.

and there, was my reflection during the longg ride to school.
& oh, i made a resolution to put more effort in Japanese too. seriously, continuing this way, i won't be surprised to get a Depressing D.

on a lighter note,
I NEARLY CHOKED ON A SWEET THIS MORNING!
wth right. never want to go to a hospital AGAIN for choking on STUPID THINGS like CRAB SHELL AND SWEET AND GOD KNOWS WHAT.

avelyn

all that i wanna say.

2010-12-06T14:10:00.002+08:00

More Than Words lyrics

Saying I love you,
Is not the words,
I want to hear from you,
It's not that I want you,
Not to say but if you only knew,
How easy,
it would be to show me how you feel,

More than words,
is all you have to do,
to make it real,
Then you wouldn't have to say,
that you love me,
Cause I'd already know.

What would you do,
if my heart was torn in two,

More than words to show you feel,
That your love for me is real,
What would you say,
if I took those words away,
Then you couldn't make things new,
Just by saying I love you,

It's more than words,
It's more than what you say,
It's the things you do,
oh yeah,
It's more than words,
It's more than what you say,
It's the things you do,
oh yeah,

Now that I've tried to,
talk to you and make you understand,
All you have to do,
is close your eyes,
And just reach out your hands,
and touch me,
Hold me close don't ever let me go,

More than words,
is all I ever needed you to show,
Then you wouldn't have to say,
that you love me,
Cause I'd already know,

What would you do,
if my heart was torn in two,

More than words to show you feel,
That your love for me is real,
What would you say,
if I took those words away,
Then you couldn't make things new,(no no)
Just by saying I love you.....

avelyn

empty.

2010-12-05T14:36:00.001+08:00

been busy this weekend. seems long and unfruitful.
i did nothing much... that is, that's got to do with school work.
i spent half the day on saturday to pack my room and it was a rather satisfying task, seeing my shelves all so neat. the other half of the day was spent surfing net at godma's place.
today, i spent half the day waiting for the Samsung LCD 40-inch TV to come. and the other half watching How I Met Your Mother and reading CLEO and waiting for Bro's GF to come tonight for formal dinner.

totally poor utilising of time, in my opinion.
why?
i guess it's because the last week has been so hectic for me and now, i'm just trying to get my fair bit of rest.
handed in VEBD on friday and went to catch Rapunzel with dear at JP!
it was GREAT! we love it! :D
though we went home after that and the time was short, it was a breather for both of us.

that night i had this little chat with Julie about.... random and weird things. i have NO IDEA how the conversation took place but ya. we talked about if we believe it time travel, parallel dimension, other worlds, magic and aliens blah blahhhhhhh. you get what i meant.
and i said i believed because as scary as those thoughts are, i can't wait for something to spice up our boring lives in the boring world. &i meant what i said.

the funny thing about believing is
- sometimes you don't believe something that is really true and live in denial
- sometimes you believe in something simply because you want it to happen and live in false hopes

anyway... today when the oh-so-magnificient TV arrived, i felt a slice of our old life back. and then reality hit me and made me wake up. c'mon, the TV is on instalments and one of the rooms in my house is even rented out. it's really not that i want those affluent lifestyle. it's the feeling... of home. where have all those laughters gone? what replaced is bitterness and worries.

New VS Old.

i just feel empty suddenly. maybe because i haven't been completing what i should have.
gotta start on my work now i guess! hmmm waiting for dear to sms...
he's been really busy and stressed up lately, i hope all works well for him (:

oh by the way, i'm really surprised IT'S ALREADY DECEMBER!
i hope hols could come soon and hit me with some EXCITEMENT. oh pleaseee.

avelyn

happy 11th month, dear.

2010-12-02T15:02:00.003+08:00

Don't feel anything special today though, because both of us are so busy.
but still! i know we would survive it somehow... and next month is what i should look forward to! hehehe. can't believe we are reaching the end of the year so fast.
anyways...

ps: "i love you".

avelyn

2010-11-30T12:15:00.003+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. :(

avel-

one after another.

2010-11-29T13:11:00.000+08:00

gosh, is year 2 hell or what?
i've got no idea how i'm gonna survive vebD.
i have to create a site MYSELF, are you kidding me?
i'm going to PHAIL.
but i will TRY.

yesterday was so much fun going out with MUMMY & DADDY.
i think they are so awesome in their own way! for us, we would just go to shopping malls, cinemas and restaurants. but with parents i went to CHINATOWN, 3 FOR $10 SHOPS & FAMOUS TSE CHAR STALL! woohooo. i really don't mind this kinda way of spending time. it's so economical & fun! but the thing is, it's so hard to go to all the right places without them!

i keep trying to remember the directions so that i could go tgt with my besties/bf HEH. i can't promise i do but you could risk getting lost with me!

1. there are so many angmohs around!
2. the fish we ate was AWESOMEST!
3. there's so much to look, fascinate, shop & buy!
cheapppppp. it's either like 3 for $10/3 for $5.
everything looks so unique too. haha
bought some cool xmas exchange gifts and a gift for dear and some hair accessories!

dad so funny. his 3 finger twist.

yummy fish!

and here's some photos with dear over the past few weeks~

i love dear in V-neck shirts!

STEAMING coconut dessert! shiok.

school's Romulus turns out yummy! awesome clubhouse.

ps: DEADlines, a tad too many.

avelyn

re-bounce.

2010-11-27T10:51:00.000+08:00

phew. things are looking good.

FA1 deadline is extended to monday.

happy working out with dear yesterday!

really wanted to go to class after gyming but i figured out that IS is totally waste of a time so i went to dear's house to slack! heh..

had some really nice chats & hugs. and, these are the times when everything seems so complete and perfect :D

coming up:

Monday HP movie with julie before BGC AGM and 6pm!

Wednesday lunch with jess before class!

that's all for now!

GONNA DO WORK!

avelyn

2010-11-24T12:19:00.002+08:00

我快崩溃了。完了，我害怕来临的日子似乎要降临了。现在的我什么也不在乎。我只想躲在一角落哭。我的心情好糟，真的。
但，算了。。。我不管了。累了。

avelyn.

what a laugh, indeed.

2010-11-23T10:05:00.002+08:00

i made me so mad just to think about it.
too bad, i tried.
i offically hate WOW to the core.
i hope the company collapse one day.
just can't get those people who live in their virtual world &
fail to realise that they are just like a frog in the well.
it's funny yesterday when i ranted to julie and we exchanged some comments.
it was so ironic and, ~~i am so pathetic~~.
i started imagining the day it turns bad, and it wasn't just little squabbles anymore..
and i realise i can't take it. that day is too scary for me.
i will not be even losing to a person but a thing.
youhavenoideawhataninsultthatis.

it was always the same thing, over and over again.
i just can't get over it. oh, it's too bad.

avel

falling tears.

2010-11-19T20:31:00.000+08:00

maybe it's god's pity on me because i'm suddenly granted internet access right now while my tears just kept on falling. i don't even know why but i just keep on crying.
crying while walking home, while sitting below my block and not going home, while washing up in the toilet and biting my lips to cry under my blanket...
crying when parents can't understand my turmoil inside. when they just carelessly assumed my silent cries for rudeness. why, tell me why.

i have no idea how to deal with everything. life has been so off-track.
yesterday i fall asleep with my outside clothes on. wake up at 2am and thought to myself 'why the fuck did i doze off when i've got so much to do'. even in my dreams i dreamt about my projects, going well, only to wake up and found out it's just a dream. Even before i washed up and all, the first thought that came up was what i need to do for the day.

people seemed to have notice my crankiness. i get increasingly impatient while talking to my friends, get worried about every single thing and looked terribly stressed out. i just want to say, i'm so so sorry. i'm sorry to dear too. i became so unreasonable. i got so petty and wished that he's with me every second when he had so much on his plate as well. i'm sorry.

it's killing me.
actually, i don't need solutions. i don't need comfort. i just need a breather and someone to hear me cry.

i don't really know what's bothering me since everything is everywhere.
- not catching up with jap
- unable to contact the police
- interviewees for FA1 not replying
- commis 1200 essay draft not started
- board games minutes undone
- unable to communicate to mum abt receipts for BGC
- FA1 due on friday
- PR pop quiz next week
- radio cue sheet
- parents quarrelling
- PR grouping
- Nuleaf tutor briefing not attended
- parents grumblings
- neglecting friends
- not seeing my bf

i. do. not. know. why. i. am. so. insecure.

and someone tell me WHY THE HELL IS EVERYTHING DUE ON 1 WEEK.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

forgive me for being cranky.

avelyn

November.

2010-11-18T12:22:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIFFANY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BFF CARMEN!

yes, november babies again. haha.
wish they all have a great day on their birthdays, though for some i didnt have the chance to celebrate with them.

tuesday school started at 9am. celebrated & surprised tiffany during breaks. class finally ended at 6pm (could have been earlier if XX teacher isn't so inconsiderate). went White Dog Cafe to celebrate Carmen's bday together with her besties including jesslyn. it was cool. but towards the end i got real tired and... oh well. ended up chatting away with jesslyn which wasn't all that bad :D TIRING DAY.

BFFs.

HAPPY HARI RAYA (thx for the holiday). badminton'ed with dear yesterday. it felt good. :D long comm meeting after that D: TIRING DAY AGAIN.

recently have been busy. and when i got home, i just want peace and dont feel like talking. so, sometimes got PEKCHEK with parents. but typical parents always think that their children have something against them. URGHH.

i'm so stressed up for projects. deadlines are due soon. i need to CHIONG CHIONG CHIONG.
crossing my fingers & pray hard.

avelyn.

muse.

2010-11-13T17:19:00.002+08:00

amuses me much. ah, life of mass comm.

Slacking my whole saturday away at NP, using free internet. haha. the skies are damn gloomy right now while i'm typing. i hope it doesn't rain. hmmm you would have never guessed that the seats at atrium are still pretty much full despite the fact that it's on a saturday. oh well.
Hmmm things i'm looking forward to:
1. watching 'Due Date' with dear tmr.
2. hari raya school holiday next wednesday.
3. birthday dinner with carmen &company next thurday.
4. getting back web critique results. (i'm secretly pinning high hopes on it)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ELDEST GORGOR!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BILLY ONG SHI AN!

haha so many November babies recently. like, seriously.

dear's at Universal Studios now. envy* hah. holding on to his promise to bring me there soon heh.
yes, i'm talking to dear again.
can't really be mad at him for long.
oh wells, that's life of couples. (:

avelyn

surprise successful!

2010-11-12T15:43:00.000+08:00

to julie:
i'm glad the surprise succeeded!
thanks for making my mass comm life much more survivable.
love ya lots. may we continue to celebrate each other's birthdays!
love from avel.

recently has been damn stressed up.
even though there's much laughters in school, when i reach home the feelings hidden in my subconcious just crashed down on me. i didnt even notice it. it's like those laughters before was just postponing the turmoil.

&i called dear. but yet, i just feel like keeping silent. wishing he could keep on talking and say something i wanted to hear. i wished he could notice the difference, not do or talk about anything else and ask me what's wrong. not just as a passing remark but being genuinely concerned. but all i get was distraction, apologies and excuses. i just need that attention. is that so hard. it doesnt even seem to matter to him that we havent been really talking or meeting much.

i dont need words to fill up gaps; i just want to see actions to cover up the insecurities.

avelyn.

digress, digress.

2010-11-11T11:05:00.000+08:00

now i know why everybody's in love with Nate in gossip girl. wheeeee. my top 1 idol :D

anyway i'm feeling shit sleepy now. >.<
have been addicted to GG season 2 and having NO motivation to do any workkk.
argh.

sometimes tears came to me so unexpectedly, that i don't know if i'm happy or i'm sad.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEAREST JULIE :D

Avelyn.

take in a deep breath & hold it there.

2010-11-06T16:03:00.001+08:00

FINALLY, i'm blogging again.
it's been such a huge gap since i last blog (or at least that's what it felt like) that i don't know where to begin. yet, i feel so awfully lazy to type it all out in detail. so let's start with some random thoughts on my mind yeah?

1. what goes around, comes around.
2. don't students realise that registering without stating their full student number equates to not registering? can't blame me if they dont get their cca points. urgh.
3. i starting to love it when people look curiously into my eyes and ask me if i'm wearing coloured contacts. oh no, i'm getting so self-obsessed. hah.
4. when you read too many good novels, you will find many that disappoints you thereafter. & that sucks. it's like you have so much expectation for it and keep on waiting, thinking something is coming and tata, there's nothing like that at the end.
5. my bro brought beef maggie be and i went like 'hor hor'. he rebutted that he's a free thinker all these while and never really believe in buddhism. makes me wonder if i am a free thinker too. still, no beef for me thank you. lol.

anyway recently, i'm starting to feel like i have been an awful friend. even though i have my reasons. which must have sounded like excuses to them, it still doesn't cancel out the fact that i wasn't there for my besties when they needed me. if you feel like this is referring to you, then it probably is and i want you to know that i'm sorry. as for those who miss this, then i hope someday they would pass by and realise that i really don't mean to neglect.

how's school?
i don't really know how to describe. the first day of school felt surreal and intimidating. but what follows went pretty smooth. i must say, i love my current groupmates pretty much. i will pray hard that nothing crops up along the way and screws up the friendship we shared.

even lunch breaks become fun nowadays. going out of school to eat with julie, ryan and kevin. it's hard to believe things are finally taking a good turn for me. life in mass comm isnt all that smooth sailing for me as others. it was horrible and it takes so much effort just to adapt. but along the way, some friends came by and i secretly thank god for it (whatever religion it belongs to). friends give me so much courage.

i swear, without my boyfriend, besties or my dearest family, even without just one of them, nothing would be the same. why the emotional moment? i guess, i just realise how much they meant to me.

OKAY THIS IS GETTING CHEEZY.

anyway i was getting quite occupied with all the schoolwork pouring in. it's just SO MUCH.
let's talk about my lecturers (no names mentioned):
Web design: average indian teacher whose accent got made fun of by everyone
Comm issue: Outspoken, friendly mina'ish teacher
PR: funny teacher always telling us to leave the class with an AH-HAH moment
Feature.W: a teacher that needs more humor in her life and realise it's 21st century now
Radio: my favourite - outspoken, cool &HOT! lol.
IS: an absolute bore

oh wells. i guess i could survive. haha.

here are some photos to save me from typing more and save you from getting drowned in all wordiness!

stayed for halloween screening&haunted house in NP!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

my v.nice toga!

Halloween board games day!

with dearest ;)

camwhore with ryan's souvenir in lecture!

day out with dear at tampines mall eating gigantic chendol!

saw this at mini toons with dear! SHO CUTE. but didnt want to waste money. >.<

till then.
avelyn :D

World’s Coolest Intern

2010-10-31T17:43:00.008+08:00

I had recently chanced upon this contest organized by Nuffnang to be ‘World’s Coolest Intern’ at Standard Chartered Bank and I thought in my head, “What could be a better contest than one that rewards you with a head start to your future?” Finding a job is hard, and finding one that you like is even harder. Not to mention that the motivation to work in a boring office is almost down to zero. Yet, right now I was given chance to intern AND still have a life! I get to tweet, facebook and blog (pretty much the three sites I engaged in first thing when I turned on my laptop everyday); what else could you possibly wish for?

It’s already my 2nd year studying Mass Communication in Ngee Ann Polytechnic and desperately need an avenue for my attachment which is coming in less than six months. And if the job is requiring me to communicate, well then i must say, I'm pretty much equipped for it! I've learned things like social psychology, marketing, creating websites, designing and more! Name anything regarding communication and i've learned it.

Being cool doesn’t mean you have to be cool with everything.

Below are 10 ‘No(s)’ I believe being the ‘World’s Coolest Intern’ would help me avoid:

1. No more blocked social network sites at work!

2. No more getting sent to I-have-never-heard-of-companies by the school!

3. No more thinking how can I survive on my miserable pay!

4. No more day-dreaming and never got the chance to achieve my big dreams!

5. No more stifling boredom!

6. No more going through the motions and wondering what I’ve learnt from those meaningless odd jobs I’ve have done!

7. No more cold, unfriendly working environment/colleagues!

8. No more rigid structure and regulations!

9. No more describing my job to my friends as “ordinary”!

10. No more restraint on me to reach out to others & CONNECT WITH THE WORLD!

Being cool is about making smart decisions and having lots envying for what you have. ‘World’s Coolest Intern’ - I believe, is just what everyone wishes to be. But, I am going to grab this golden opportunity and get it first.

If I got in?

I will give my best and make sure they’ll never regret choosing me.

Avelyn Ng S.Y

SHOPPING SPREE :D

2010-10-21T14:54:00.001+08:00

nerdy cuties :p

our reaps! =O

my first maxi-dress! nice anot? (:

haha shall not show the rest of my reaps to keep the surprise when you guys see me! LOL.

basically with $60 dollars i bought at BUGIS STREET:

- 1 toga dress [$18]

- 1 dress [$10]

- 1 casual blazer-like jacket [$11] lol we haggled!

- 1 maxi dress [$10]

- 1 bag [$10]

- 1 banana crepe with free fruit punch [$3.50]

walking from 3pm - 7pm is worth it! :D what a great day.

school's starting on monday~ ARGHH..

avelyn

retail therapy.

2010-10-18T13:15:00.000+08:00

felt so grumpy over the weekend and so, i started window shopping alone to get rid of vexing thoughts in my head. it wasn't all that bad - the solitude. for once, i can stop thinking about anyone else and just think about myself. what should i buy to reward myself?
on saturday i went window shopping at IMM after re-making my card at JE. there's sales everywhere. i didnt plan on buying anything at first... then i saw Mondo sellling shoes at $9.90 because of limited sizes left. i desperately need flats for school! & there, i found it! :D not too bad huh?

on sunday, i window-shopped at tiong baru plaza after my free treatment at New York Skin Centre. It's TS new opening's sale! so i browse for 2hrs contemplating which to buy till i wanted to give up altogether and not buy. THEN, i saw this 'Hi, My Sweetheart' taiwan drama! got SHOW & RAINIE! the show must be nice! 23 episodes for $13.95. normally you only get such stuffs at $30 lah. & so i bought it, thinking that it will be great to dispel any boredom at home!

all these cheered me up much, i must say. having PMS & little tiffs with dear.. haiz.
i hope things get better & my holidays will end with a high note. the last week of my precious hols.
emo. D:

these days, i just don't feel like trying anymore. maybe putting it a different way, i'm giving you what you wanted. your space. but at the expense of what? the distance, perhaps. if you realise. promises and apologies, meant nothing.

avelyn

happy birthdays.

2010-10-12T21:40:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY, CHARCHAR :D

Darren & Char looked so loving here~

camwhoring on bed! heh.

nice present charlene received! it's such a pretty bottle! despite the fact it's distilled water. hah.

with dear~ look at our oily faces! haha.

stayed over at charlene's chalet from saturday to sunday.
some highlights of FOOD:
CHEEZE PRAWNS (dear peeled for me!)
BBQ STINGRAY (yumm yumm)
FONDUE! (it wasn't that nice but it's pretty cool to have one!)
& lots of nice food that i couldn't believe that charlene's mum cooked them all!

basically we played board games (that dear brought from bgc), drink a little, eat a lot and gambled some. OH I MUST SAY, I'M DAMN LUCKY!
played blackjack and i got 21pts for SIX TIMES! from starting $2 become $11 hahaha. then i stop playing le. in case i lose them all.
on sunday morning, me&dear, kelly&BF, charlene &BF, 2 charlene's friends went to watch The Other Guys. if you watch it, you will laugh your head off because it makes NO SENSE! hah. me and dear was discussing about how ridiculous it all were.

monday
yesterday, i went school's Alumni Gym with nick and dear! work out soooo much that i got aches ALL OVER today! and there's nobody there but three of us; it felt like we own the place! haha there's this water rower there which is very cool.
also, i finally can attend Board Games meetup again! so happy. Julie came too. i played Gloom and ticket to ride! :D the club's events are coming up. excited. i'm thinking of buying more games for myself~~ (:

today
full of muscle aches. stayed at home and watch transformers 1 & 2! SO NICE. hah but i'm so outdated aren't i? hah. in case you are wondering how i've got internet, my new neighbour didnt put a password on his wireless! hah. a bit bad lah... but.. oh well! hehe.

ps: i've got back my wallet with IC and cards from the police le! but NOTHING ELSE.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JIA'EN!

avelyn

Cherish-

2010-10-07T22:28:00.002+08:00

this is actually a screwed-up pic filled with lines but after photoshop, it looks better? like... oriental. HAHA.

Celebrating Mid-Autumn with dear! dear's jealous of the statue! heheee.

Dining at the sweet restaurant~ (greenhouse cafe). sitting on the swinggg!
on our 9th month together.

i love this shot that i took! pretty roses~

yummy salmon! tucking in!
---------

i totally love my current blogsong!
carrie underwood is so pretty & the guy is so handsome!
their story is just saddd. can take a look at the music video if you wanna find out!
---------

"Just A Dream"

It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen
All dressed in white
Going to the church that night
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat
Sixpence in a shoe, something borrowed, something blue
And when the church doors opened up wide
She put her veil down
Trying to hide the tears
Oh she just couldn't believe it
She heard trumpets from the military band
And the flowers fell out of her hand

Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray
Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt
Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard
Then they handed her a folded up flag
And she held on to all she had left of him
Oh, and what could have been
And then the guns rang one last shot
And it felt like a bullet in her heart

Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

Oh,
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
Oh, now I'll never know
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream

Oh, this is just a dream
Just a dream
Yeah, Yeah

avelyn

ongoings.

2010-10-06T13:34:00.001+08:00

last sunday
me and dear went for New York Skin Solutions @tiong baru because i've won some free treatments there by pure luck! hahah. so, they did some skin scanning on us and put us into some room. it was all very professional, i must say. it's just that some of the stuffs they say me and dear found it too chim to be understood but then who cares? we are just here for FREE facials!

indeed, we laid there for TWO HRS while they do all sorts of stuffs on our faces. it felt great, at least to me lah. the massaging, the masks and coolingness. haha. the last mask they put on me is the coolest. it's clay i think. and when they removed it, it's all hard and looks like a stone mask. lol. i'm going next week for my last free treatment. dear wont be with me le though cos he's not entitled for that offer. =x

recent updates
been on manga spree since i'm really bored out in office. i hope it wont become an addiction.
nice mangas/animes that's on my fave list so far:
Blood+ (Mystery/thriller/supernatural)
Noblesse (Comedy/supernatural)
Love in a Mask (romance)
Psyren (supernatural)
Kuroshitsuji (supernatural/mystery)
of course there are others like Liar Game and Bleach.... but they committed the mistake of being too DRAGGY. oops.

i realised from reading julie's and charlene's blog that i forgot to blog about results!
hmmm... it's not what i expected and not what i wished to get but yet, i didnt felt much.
1st shock: i got the FIRST 'A' for a core module and it's a module i LEAST expected to score.
2nd shock: i never thought i would score a C+ for a thing such as CUCOM. evil teacher who looked so nice. how deceiving!
lastly i'm just disappointed that i didnt get a B for Research Methods after studying shit-hard for it. but then again, it's MRM. who the hell scores well for it. i mean, sure, there are some but i'm definitely not included.
and overall... i improved. by a few decimal places? lol.
yes, yes. I NEED TO BUCK UP. i know that alright. haha.

did i say?
my theft thing just became a SERIAL CASE, i think. some higher-rank officer is looking to it currently.
i'm glad. at least, no more patronising.
they found some of my stuff and i'm gonna collect it on Friday! (i took leave)
I HOPE THEY FIND EVERYTHING. i really do. not that i'm greedy, i cant help it that ALL of it is important to me!
and so, my last day at work is on thursday which is... TOMORROW!
woohoooooooo.

gonna be hard to have access to internet after i stop working. so... TILL THEN, PEOPLE.

avelyn

CHEER with me! :D

2010-10-04T12:07:00.001+08:00

It's been a LONG week for me.
it's drastic how life can get -
last weekend was DREADFUL and the recent weekend was GREAT!

so, when you are down, stay strong and wait for the darkened sky to clear.
if not, you would not be able to witness the beautiful scene when the sun rises again.

SAT
HAPPY 9TH MONTH, DEAREST!
i was filled with anicipation of course, but i wasn't pinning high hopes on that day. because both of us were at a loss of what to do and where to go. so i thought, it would be just a usual movie and a dinner in a nice restaurant. we had no concrete plans. plus, by the time we reached cineleisure, we were late for the movie we wanted to watch (Charlie St. Cloud). so we choose whatever we saw - "i love you phillip morris" or smt like that.

the cashier gave us the weirdest look ever.
"erm... it's R21. i have to see your identification because..."
and i cut him off, "IT'S R21?! no no no, we are not watching."
it's so HILARIOUS. dear was like stunned. hahahah.

so ended up we choose to watch 'charlie st.cloud' at another timeslot at ard 7pm. we were a little disappointed but things work out for us! shopping for an Espirit tee for dear, went around trying some shoes for myself and checking out the new malls at Orchard. dear even bought this cuteee HP strap for me! very soon, we were STARVING. we decided to have a early dinner because we didnt really ate a good lunch before coming out.

where to eat? nothing there appeals to us and we were already damn hungry then. while walking past many restauraunts aimlessly, i spotted this restauraunt in a corner outside 313Somerset. so, we check it out and....

IT BECAME MY FAVOURITE RESTAURAUNT EVER!

the moment i saw the swings there, i've set my mind that i want to eat there and dear agreed, much to his amusement i suppose. i mean, it's so SHWEEEET.
- they have swinging benches as their seats!
- and the cafe is combined with a flower shop!
- they have a affordable $30 set meal with main course, dessert & WHITE WINE
- the cafe is peaceful and not crowded and quiet!

awesomeee. dear had some steak while i had the grilled salmon set. the food turns out NIICEEEE TOO!
and of course not to mention, WE TOOK LOTS OF PHOTOS! :D (to be uploaded soon)

after that, we went to catch our movie! it's SHOOOOO touching.
i must say, Zac Effron new look is much better! i like his BLUE EYESSS! (dear, dont jealous)
hahaha. it's a great, meaningful show. must catch it! the cinema's like full house lah.

Then we went to buy a bubble tea and sat down somewhere to chat.
did i ever mention how glad i am to be in the same secondary school as darrell?
haha even though both of us never knew each other existed then.
but i'm glad because we had so much common topics to talk/gossip about! :D

soon, it's late & dear sent me home.
time flies and the day got to end. but it's okay! because more good times with dear are sure to come!
hehehee.

wow. such a long post. i shall blog about sunday someday else.
i gotta go for lunch now! hahah.

avelyn

PS:POLICE SENT ME A LETTER SAYING THEY FOUND SOME OF MY STUFF!
HAPPIEST NEWS EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! HOORAYYYYYYYY!
i hope they found everything.

anticipation.

2010-09-30T15:51:00.000+08:00

today felt better. the moodiness seem to have lifted.
maybe because the fact sank in that i cant do but about the theft thing
or maybe just because i'm chatting away with dear again.
or perhaps, the anticipation for tmr has driven any other feelings away.

tomorrow's the judgement day again - the release of results.
argh. on children's day. on the day just before my anniversary with dear. :(

hope all goes well.

anyway,
EVERYONE PLS TAG/EMAIL/SMS/FB ME YOUR NUMBER!
my number's still the same!

avelyn

detachment.

2010-09-29T16:03:00.000+08:00

these days,
it felt like we are getting disconnected.

avelyn

it's just too bad.

2010-09-29T08:15:00.001+08:00

call me whatever you want, but i'm just feeling grumpy and don't feel like socialising/hanging out or whatever.
if you hate the way i am now, it's too bad. because, if i know a magic spell to cast all these moodiness away, i would gladly do it y'know. if one can choose, who dont wanna be happy?

damn sian.

it's as though i waiting for each day to pass and pass. and time flies, friday's the day i receive my results.
depressing.

it's hard to count your blessings when you met so much misfortune. i keep telling myself there's so much others worse off than me but even knowing that, doesnt make myself any less worse. argh, alright that sounds so spiteful & immature but oh wells.

it's not true that singapore is a totally safe place & how police work on TV and how they really does in reality is totally different for your info. i'm surprised and disappointed.

ps: i hate the feeling when i know your mind was somewhere else.

avelyn
i'll recover & be back,
soon.

i think i'll snap first.

2010-09-27T20:09:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry i tried, but i can't.
i think i will snap before i can snap out of it.
every moment i'm hoping for that bastard to be caught, feeling the remorse, grieving for the loss and wishing all these is a dream. damn fucked feeling. i just want everything back.

THAT ASSHOLE.

i just want to keep on cursing.

avelyn

isolated.

2010-09-27T14:21:00.000+08:00

i feel apologetic for so many things.
when i thought about the sentimental items i've lost, i felt so upset.
and people that seem so disappointed in me..
and how i'm always being such a trouble..

i know i'm just being grumpy.. but i feel so empty.
i dont know why. just dont know why.

i know if i stop trying to reach out to others right now,
nobody, nobody
could contact me.

which might not be a bad idea.

avelyn

i know, but i just can't help it.

2010-09-27T11:32:00.002+08:00

saturday was supposed to be an awesome day. and it actually was, until it happened.
details aside, it's this asshole that stole my bag while i'm playing arcade.
some of the things i lost:
NRIC
Espirit bag
Itouch
Handphone
Keys
Ezlink/ATM/membership cards
Thumbdrive
Comb that dear bought for me from genting
and more...

it's really like WTF.

really appreciate jesslyn for not minding that i ruin her whole bday celebration.
thanks carmen for being the contact person for police & fetching me back home at 1.30am.
thanks dear, of course, for coming down all the way these days & being my pillar of support.

all the logistics. terminating, taking statements, replacements and blah blah are killing me.
on top of that, was facing my parents.

after the incident, i feared going home. that night, i brought carmen, jess & dear with me to timbre.
drink lots of cocktails and pizzas and listened to the blasting of the band.
it would have felt so awesome if not for the fact that i'm drowning my sorrows.

i mean, it really came as a shock. i was in complete denial until i saw the rewinding of CCTV and calling '999'.
my first call to the police. gosh.

that night when i reach home and my parents confront me, i did not meet their eyes once. i cowered to one corner of the kitchen and cried and kept on yelling 'stay away from me' until they have no choice but to do so. only then, i crept in to the bedroom and sleep. not really, actually. since i kept on tearing in the dark. i slept for only 2hrs maybe?

yesterday i totally felt like shit. i think i could stand and sleep, if i have the chance.
went to tuition like a zombie and met dear to settle some logistics.
FML. i don't even have anything on me now to prove my identity. none. only the birthcert & passport at home.

things are better now...
and many people are telling me it's a gone case.
but i just can't help,
holding the glimmer of hope that i can find my belongings back.

I JUST CAN'T ACCEPT that i lost them all, all of a sudden, for no reason.

sometimes, i hate myself for being such a klutz. really do.

ARGHHH.

avelyn
crossing my fingers & pray.

full moon.

2010-09-23T10:46:00.001+08:00

my mid-autumn yesterday would otherwise be an awful day, if not for dear (:
who would have thought it was a day filled with lots of work to do and i even broke my slippers (again)!
after work, went do have dinner at JP and headed down to chinese garden.
it's all hyped up there man! with all the deco & look at the crowd!
haha. so we went around exploring and taking pictures!

it felt like a beautiful dream when i woke up today though. Maybe because i was really tired out yesterday and when i woke up today, i felt like a total zombie. totally. which explains the headache i'm having now. =/ thank god for itouch and manga to keep me awake.
but yesterday was still worth it! haha.

will update more soon!
ps: ciurrent addictions: Love In The Mask manga & Fly-Flap itouch game
happy midautumn to all!

avelyn :D

i'm hungrieee.

2010-09-20T11:48:00.000+08:00

currently very hungry and waiting for lunchtime in half an hour's time. lol.
some news:
1. i received my first teacher's day present from my adorable student.
2. i've got a new, free itouch thanks to dear & his dad.
3. movie marathon with dear was cool. watched serendipity & RE2:Extinction. nice!
how contrasting huh. one is a heart-warming romance and another is a hair-standing thriller.
4. i smsed for some contest on MyPaper thinking i'll probably be one of the few millions entries... and I WON! lol. free treatments @ new york skin solutions with just a 20cents sms. worth it man.
5. i officially have to endure another 14 days of work before i'm free! oh, how time crawls..
6. it's midautumn in two days time! i secretly want to celebrate it but i kept reminding myself i'm no longer a kid. plus.. it doesn't seem that time allows me to celebrate with dear.. so, oh well.
7. i'm looking forward to this weekend. outing with besties & going for my free treatments :D
8. i'm just crapping and extending this post and trying to make myself forget that i'm hungry, if you haven't notice. lol

ps: bear with the wordy posts, will upload photos soon!

avelyn

words, meant a lot.

2010-09-17T13:40:00.000+08:00

words aren't just words, unless we think it that way.

Recently, during my free time in the office, i entertained a fantasy of mine. To merge my hobbies into something professional. i wouldn't call it a job, but maybe one they it can become one.

merge: writing, blogging, socialising, blogshopping & working.

i don't know if my attempt works but i tried.

if you support me, 'follow me' at the following:
http://lovedummies.blogspot.com/
http://underyourinvasion.blogspot.com/

ps: i know it isn't much. but, i'm still working on it! (:

avelyn

:(

2010-09-15T14:43:00.002+08:00

the sad smiley face is all i could think of that's appropriate for my post right now.
i really triedddddddddddddddddddd, but something always go wrong at work.
i wished i can know what they want and get it right too. but i'm not a super-robot with intelligent powers.
humans make mistakes, y'know.

all i wish now was for the day to end faster so that i can dinner with dear later.

&it's so troubling.
there's this guy colleague that barely talk 10 sentences with me asked me out with the excuse that he's new to Singapore. &i think it's true but...
i was like stunned and trying to be polite... and wth i nodded?!
immediate regret.
now i'm thinking how to take back my words.
one thing for sure: i'm not going to go out with him.

yesterday at work wasnt much better either.
i pressed for mocha at the pantry and black coffee came out. gosh.
forced the bitter shit down.

haiz.
emo momo.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JESSLYN BESTIE! (:

avelyn
wanna hear your voice so.

ca$h in, ca$h out.

2010-09-14T10:41:00.000+08:00

i just decided to make a resolution...
to accumulate to $1000 in my bank by the end of holidays!

i've been spending far too much man!
though, i have to say, most of it was not for myself.

i bought presents for upcoming birthdays of my dearest friends
and mooncakes for my family!

did i say?
sampling mooncake from manymany stalls with dear was great!
so many new flavours! hahaha.

spent like $80 plus plus altogether at JP sia. & got myself this rebate card thingy.
need to accumulate to $600. 0.0
so, anyone gonna buy anything at JP tell me ok! hah.

recently, mum and dad had been terrorising me with:
"look at the floor! you dropped so much hair!"
which made me really troubled. :(
solutions anyone?

avelyn

beyond all these.

2010-09-13T14:28:00.001+08:00

i've just finished reading the lost symbol. glued to it for two days. gosh. hahaha.
dan brown's books make you hard to distinguish what's real and what's not but that's not the point.
the point is: he established the possibility.

he used logic and facts as he weaved out one igenious plot after another. then, controversy arises.
why? people should start being more open-minded and see that the book is not trying to undermine/defame/mislead any organisations or anyone. rather, it just let us know that the world is full of possibilities while we are trapped in our small, narrow world.

it did really got me intrigued, wanting to find out more and start googling. but seriously, i knew that i wont be able to get much out of search engines. it makes me wonder what hell lot of research dan brown did for this book.

some trivia:
did you know he took 6 years to come up with lost symbol?
did you know it's actually called 'the solomon key' at first?
and did you know...

he looks like this?

well, i didnt. but all these came up in some of my search.
hah i love his books man. :D
they make me get the Inception-feeling, if you know what i meant. hah.

ps: i'm officially back to work again and here starts my spamming of posts in office again! :D

food for thought:
what if the world we know of is only 1/1000 of what it really is?

avelyn

aftermath.

2010-09-09T22:25:00.000+08:00

alright, sorry for the screw-up mood in the previous post..
i guess it just haven't strike me yet.. how real the freedom is.

THE RELIEF.

i remembered how i dreaded the days, as school screws up and how i wish just for the sem to end.
and it really did, starting from today at 11am.

IT'S REAL.

ok. i shall be a happy girl and stop emo'ing. :D

avelyn.

supposed to be.

2010-09-09T21:05:00.000+08:00

exams finally over. tried my best. mrm wasn't so bad, advert was hard like hell.
i don't really get emo over the papers though. still, it sucks sometimes when you compare answers and you go 'oh shit'.
today was suay. after exams my slippers broke and got to buy one from co-op. now, i know how julie felt to always encounter things like this. anyway, playing boardgames all the way till evening was real fun. despite the tiredness, i still want to play. no matter what others say, i've never regretted joining boardgames club, no matter how geeky others think it is.

but i guess things happened and affected my mood along the way.
small things that seemed so trivial and yet, it is not.
mood swings/pms/ whatever might have triggered that but still,
it does not excuse the validity of my change of mood.

but, y'know. in just don't feel like talking. not at all.
i just want to stone, feeling myself go indifferent. nod, smile and go 'i'm just tired' where appropriate.
it's not about anybody. it's just those times when you don't wanna talk and even if you had really want to answer, you can't exactly describe it out in words. something is just wrong. and inside, i know what it is. i just don't want to search my mind and find it out.

i had never wanted to be alone so much for a long time.

yes, it's been long.
i thought of so much.
the familiar rush of emotions.
the familiar playback of images and words.
the familiar fear.

but tomorrow will be a better day.
i'm supposed to be happy.
& i'm looking forward to it.
went through so much this week just for the laughter i know i'll be having tomorrow.
i hope... this anticipation is mutual.

avelyn
i'll be happy.

when tears are no longer enough to gratify the pain.

new look, fresh feel.

2010-09-07T10:05:00.000+08:00

YAY, i rebonded my hair! haha even though my face looked abit big now but i still like the SMOOOTHNESS.

mum & dad told me: "yes, yes we know your hair nice. can you stop swinging it already?" HAHA.
pardon my zilian'ness. :p

lol. too bored at work already. took a pic of my tissue :D

doodle doodle doodle. artistic not? oh well. hahaha.

look at the amount of admin work i did. D:

GOTTA GO~
today's MRM EXAMMMMM.
good luck to all, and myself included~!

avelyn

love language.

2010-09-03T11:52:00.005+08:00

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Quality Time

My Detailed Results:
Quality Time:	9
Words of Affirmation:	8
Receiving Gifts:	6
Physical Touch:	4
Acts of Service:	3

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.
Tag 3 people so they can find out what their love language is.

Take the Quiz!
Check out the Book

hahaha. got it from Nicholas.W's blog & decided to try it :D

another one:

The answers given to the questions have been shown to have a relevance to values and ideals that we hold in our personal lives. The analysis follows:
1. You are walking in the woods with dear. dear is the most important person in your life. [YEAP :D]

2. You see a rabbit. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems. [hmm, depends..]

3. You ran away with the animal? The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems. (passively/aggressively) [hah, running away from problems? i guess.]

4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your Dream House. It is small, but with a spacious yard. The size of your dream house is representative of the size of your ambition to resolve your problems. [hmmm oops. =/ well it coincide with the previous qns.]

5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence? You answered yes. No fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You'd prefer people not to drop by unannounced. [duh, dont wanna be scared to death]

6. You enter the house. You walk to the dining area and see the dining table. homemade dishes at flowers in the vase are on and around the table. If your answer did not include food, people, or flowers, then you are generally unhappy. [yay, i'm HAPPY]

7. You exit the house through the back door. Lying in the grass is a cup. The cup is made of gold. The durability of the material with which the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship with dear. For example, styrafoam, plastic, and paper are all disposable, styrofoam, paper and glass are not durable, and metal and plastic are durable. [heh, i guess gold is durable? hmm]

8. You wash and keep it to use. Your disposition of the cup is representative of your attitude towards dear. [HAHA i wash dear and keep it to use? good idea.]

9. You walk to the edge of the property, where you find yourself standing at the edge of a river. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire. [eh? -.-]

10. You cross the river by wade through it. How wet you get in crossing the water is indicative of the relative importance of your sex life. [errr. okayyyy.]

another one:

Hershey's Candy Bar

Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt.

lastly:
DID YOU KNOW?

Love Apple - Tomato

Love Arrows - Needle-like crystals embedded in quartz

City of Brotherly Love - Philadelphia

Love Lock - Long flowing curl

Puppy Love - Juvenile Love

Game Score - Tennis

Loving Cup - Two-handled cup given as a prize

Love-in-a-mist - A plant with feathery leaves

Lovebird - Small parrot

Love Feast - A religious meal

well, i didn't. since i scored 30% :(

tada
avelyn

ps: won't time pass faster? i'm shagged.
so gratefull today's FRIDAY.

office girl's gumblings.

2010-09-02T12:51:00.000+08:00

GOSH.
i'm sooooo busy.
was tasked to print 3840 pages of different requirements, puncture them, sort & file them into 12 files and label the files! and to my horror, after that there's another project for me to handle! 0.0
well, i guess that's my price for taking ONE WEEK LEAVE. (including weekends, i dont have to work for consecutively 9 days!)

i thought it's pretty much worthwhile..... until i realised 6/9 days, i have to study/take exams! arghh.

but still, i cant help looking forward to the end of exams!

tada, lunch break's overr -!

GOOD LUCK TO DEAR FOR EXAM!
GET WELL SOON, JULIE!

avelyn
ps: i still have lots to study. that. is. bad.

i just...

2010-09-01T15:50:00.000+08:00

i just had the sudden need to talk to you, but i don't wanna say.
i don't even know what to say; i just feel low. i wish i could see you today.
it's even childish, blogging out here, wondering if you will see this.
ah, how vulnerable i am, isn't it.

avelyn

tragedies.

2010-09-01T08:55:00.000+08:00

recently i've stumbled upon this blog written by a taxi driver who is a professor. and the post on February 10 is so sad. maybe, it's when you have reached a lower stage of your life, that you came to realise more about what is 'tragedy'. i mean, if he wasnt a taxi driver, i don't think he will ever experience these kind of encounters.
you can read it at: http://taxidiary.blogspot.com/

anyway. yesterday i was talking to one of my colleague, much older than me (a auntie). and she started telling me all kinds of gossip while i was doing work and it was the kind of feeling that she gave me that let me know she didnt have any guards against me. then i thought, 'what if i was older and not just a little girl in her eyes? will she still talk to me as friendly as she does now? or will she start worrying i will take over her place in the office?'

with age, comes more responsibility.
with age, comes more complexity.
with age, you have to wear more masks.
with age, you get involve with more politics.
it's so terrible, isn't it?
where are the times when we say whatever we want as a little kid?

avelyn

cool blog ;)

2010-08-31T11:25:00.000+08:00

check this out for nice restaurants and places to go!
http://passingmomentos.wordpress.com/

avelyn

oops, the guilt.

2010-08-31T09:26:00.001+08:00

i realised, i'm easily guilty D:
guilty for:
1. printing lots of notes with office printer
2. secretly not remembering the names of my nice colleagues
3. reading novels instead of studying
4. taking lots of leave
5. doing nothing and getting paid for it

HAHA. but, oh wells.

i'm dreading school... not just because of exams, but hmm the people i will meet too.
shall not explain much. but seriously, school is not a place i will find any warmth or whatever shit.

perhaps because most of my time are taken up recently, i start to plan out all my time.
&when things don't go according to my plan, my mood turns bad.
i know i'm being ridiculous but i just... don't have much time to spare. (lol, i sound like i'm dying.)

anyway studying with julie on sunday was cool. thought it wasnt very very productive, i think we accomplished some still. hah after studying, we went to window shop a bit at causeway point & i bought something for dear! :D
hope it motivates him to study & be happy!

tada. HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY! (though i wont be visiting, but i love them still for bringing me to where i am today)
Special thanks to:
MRS CHONG (pri sch teacher)
MS TNEE (Sec lit teacher)
MR J.ONG (Sec eng teacher)

ps: should i rebond/dye/do both my hair?

avelyn

my reaps :D

2010-08-29T16:36:00.000+08:00

pretty gals~

working hard~~

me in japanese soldier uniform! ps: i am wearin shorts in case you're wondering

bro bought esprit bag for me from HK! yay :D

@production with yee ting! :D maybe we DO really look alike.

with dearest (:

my shopping reaps :D

CHIONG AH FOR EXAMS!
gabatte to all :D

avelyn

ah, the fascade.

2010-08-27T14:57:00.000+08:00

papers strewned across my office table making me seem as though i am very busy. it is true, to an extent; only that i'm busy with something else - studying for exams.
don't i have work to do?
well, they didnt give me any.
(not that i'm asking for some anyway.)

lol. won't time pass faster?
&oh no, i can't seem to memorise what i've studied.
infomation overload.

avelyn

sick girl :(

2010-08-27T09:50:00.002+08:00

sniff sniff.
cough cough.
yawn yawn.

avelyn

change of events.

2010-08-25T15:14:00.001+08:00

how sudden, all things came and went.
in the end, starhub pangseh me and i suddenly got an office job at Tuas via recruit express!
feel kinda stressed because commitment level is high and i got NO time for studies and going out anymore D:
but heh, THINK OF THE MONEYYY.

so currently, i'm in office now slacking away because there's nth for me to do.
what have i done so far: being a photocopying/binding/packing/delivery girl. wow, awesome. -.-
the office here is quite cool because it's on an INDUSTRIAL SITE. it sucks but i've got transport provided!
first thing they briefed me was on safety, emergency practices & to be careful not to set off any EXPLOSIVES. great huh. hahaha. i was like:
'errr? i'm only doing admin? i should be safe in office right?'
'yeah, i think so too. i just have to let you know'
so i thought: 'why not? getting paid to hear some useless shit'

bored out.
hahaha.

anyway, yesterday with dear was awesomeee.
1. watched liar game!
2. went shopping!
3. bought lost symbol!

even though i'm SO SICKLY, i'm still a HAPPY GIRL! yay. :D

let's hope i survive with all these work and studies without any crop ups.

avelyn
hectic schedule of life
leaves you no mercy.

working...towards.

2010-08-21T18:12:00.002+08:00

studying works better when you have a goal & you know that you aren't alone. :D
kudos to julie & dear's encouragement, i've conquered 5 MRM chapters and 3 Advert chapters in total so far! HOORAY!
2 more chapters to go before i end my nerdy day.

working life starts on monday. i hope it will all go well... and money will start rolling in fast!

ps: to make preparations for that, i'm gonna update my wishlist! HAHA.

avelyn

maybe that's how it feels.

2010-08-20T11:38:00.000+08:00

i'm suddenly tired.
just feel like trapping myself in a world of mine,
be it with novels or with anime.
tired of struggling to hold on to the bonds,
and keep the distance close.
it's time for me to rest,
and see who really cares,
cares enough to take my place
& keep trying.

it happens.
when you try a lot and the other party took it for granted.
&it's always upon sudden realisation that,
you are being a irritating fool.
i don't mean just friends, it can be family and boyfriends too.

oh well.

emo time is over.

avelyn
ifeelvexed, iwonderwhy.

your smile;my smiles.

2010-08-19T21:50:00.001+08:00

studying with dearest~~ library outings with dear have become more frequent and it's fun. studying tgt, borrowing interesting books and surfing net tgt. i don't know about him, but i felt like we are working towards something together. not just about fun & play but being in part of each other's life in every other areas.

studying (&camwhoring) with my best buddies @starbucks!

Phew... took some time to figure out blogger's new features. i think they are really great but the formatting is kinda troublesome at times. oh well. i still love blogger more than livejournal and whatnots. maybe, you can say i'm still old and outdated but seriously, whatever. HAHA.

anyway, i had two interviews recently and both are like a piece of cake. the first one i had with Julie and Calista was not even like an interview. it's like... A JOKE? seriously. it's just an ABANDON BUILDING and the lobby = staircase and the interview was held with us sitting on some ragged, stranded karang guni sofa. =.= i mean, i'm not trying to sound like i'm some taitai, it's just not what i expected that's all. i think the job sounds like a great experience even though the warning was "there will be overnight filming shoots in swamps where there will be bugs, snakes and you may have to find a tree to pee at." yes, that was what she said.

anyway, we passed by Lasalle that day and it looks really awesome. A new thought came to me, one that was filled with impossibilities but i still held hope. i'm so tired of the old school system and the people around. i don't think i can even get to a local U. &my initial determination in getting into one had dissipated. not that i'll be satisfied with just a diploma but i'm just thinking... there are other channels of education besides local universities.

The beancurd there that Yi Ting (my supposed twin) recommended, was really yummy by the way.

By chance, i happened to flipped through the Classified dear passed to me today and went for this interview at Bugis again. 10/hr! isn't it awesome. tell you guys a secret: i went to the WRONG LOCATION and stood there for HALF AN HR and embarrassed myself by asking STUPID QUESTIONS from the interviewer over the phone. but still, I GOT THE JOB. starhub promoter! haha.

it's this door-to-door sales everyday from 7.30pm to 10pm. it's really flexible and great since I STILL CAN ENJOY HOLS since i only worked at night. and i still can earn enough for myself! since, it's $25 per sales closed. i know it's not gonna be easy but i will try my best. hah made some friends there already; i'm being optismistic. :D

rushed to tuition by taking a cab though. :( $22 flew awayyy.

studying so far: 5 chapters of MRM, 1 chapter of ADVERT done. not very great. and advert notes suck big time. argh. 60% of MRM grade is C+ (i think i missed B by 1mark) sobssss. GG.

randomness: cravings for more animes (black butler is NICE) to watch &more badminton sessions!

gotta JIAYOU!

也许因为我不懂我心里的那不安全感代表什么，我一直用自己的方式让你知道你对我多重要。但，我发现我和你之间的距离。在我的世界，永远有不够的你；在你的世界永远有太多的我。我很抱歉，我真的在试着给你要的空间，但那空间对我来说是更多的不安。我只是想知道你，也是需要我在你生命里的。你的不耐烦好明显，我想闪躲，也闪不了，就摆在我的眼前。我，真的好想成为你微笑的原因。。。
你知道吗？

avelyn

loving to be busy? perhaps.

2010-08-13T20:25:00.000+08:00

humans are funny people.
they grumble when they're busy and yet, find more things to do when they're free.
at least, that is what i've been doing anyway.

today was SHIOK. just played badminton without any cares and it felt good.
even when i was physically tired, i still want MORE. badminton is perhaps the only sport that i'll never feel tired with. but haha, i predict the muscle aches tmr man.
dear & marcus are really good players (compared to me). lol. still, i tried my best! i think i improved? lol.
I FEEL HEALTHY NOW.

anyway i'm still finding lots of things to fill up every single day of my hols.
i want it to be fufilling.

i actually managed to study some too! clapclap* with dear, with tricia & jj.

hmmm.
i kind of dread school now, even though hols barely started.
it's a awful feeling.
if dear hasn't said it, i wouldn't have realised i told him that i'm glad to see him almost every time i see him. though he may joke and say he has become my drug, i still have to admit he's really had become my escapade. every single time i just want to run away, hide myself, feel sorry and cry all day; he will bring me back, face everything with me, be my side, listen to me cry and wipe away my tears. love him lots. (:

hmmm i guess it's time to get a job soon.
any lobangs, guys? (:

avelyn

people.

2010-08-11T13:37:00.000+08:00

it's amazing how my mood took a 360 turn with just a little news i received from my friend.
how easily swayed emotions are, as if we are at the mercy of the people around us.
but I, shall no longer cry for the people that do not deserve my tears.

avelyn

some people,
i wonder why they exist.
because,
they polluted the world
that could be so wonderful.
could be.

spicing up my lifezz.

2010-08-11T12:20:00.000+08:00

YESTERDAY:
cooked yummy noodles for dear's lunch. *proud of myself*
watched soccerer's apprentice! pretty good!
had a good chat over dinner with dear & his friends!
<3 dear lots.

TODAY:
officially signed up for TWITTER (finally)!
GOING TO STUDY LTR!
&if it doesn't rain, might go for a swim with bro!
meeting LKH at night!

RESOLUTIONS:
EXERCISE.
SCORE DECENT GRADES FOR EXAMS.
WORK ON MANUCRIPT.
CREATE A PROFESSIONAL BLOG. (doesn't it sound cooliozzz)
GET A JOB.
READ ALL THE BOOKS I WANNA. (it's been a long time)
& DO SHOPPING! (just a little weeny bit..)
BRUSH UP JAP.
MEET Tricia & JJ & Jesslyn & Carmen & Julie & etc.
VISIT GODPARENTS MORE OFTEN.

i still think it's not enough. my hols must be EVENTFUL & HAPPENING. hahah
i shall think of MOREE!

tada tada.

avelyn

freed!

2010-08-08T20:28:00.004+08:00

CONGRATS to godsis for her baby Alastair! :D
---

pardon my french the last post =/
---
anyway it's all over, i dont wanna talk about it.
i'm like having my HOLIDAYS nowww.
actually is study break lah. but oh well. can slack a little ^^

before i can have fun i need to STOP BEING SICK.
i think dear also hear me say i sick until sian liao =X
so, recover recover recover~~~
---

yesterday went for C3 gathering over at Ms Quek's new house! it's really cool because it's just next to my block! so basically we are neighbours now. lol. anyway each of us brought one kind of finger food so end up there's almost everything on the table ranging from pizzas, cheezecake, fruits to old chang kee, french fries, chicken wings and the seaweed chicken that i fried!
woohooo. i guess my first frying experience isnt too bad! hah :D
actually, cooking is really quite fun.

anyways, we celebrated daxino's bday too! managed to rush out a huge card for him &get everyone to sign on it. was too busy the past few weeks. then we ate the very awesome blueberry cake (despite us being bloated to the maxxx)! hah. so in the end, we skipped dinner!

i think i'm seriously very slow in daidi. oh my god. i swear i'm going to master it someday! :D

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!
HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO DAXINO!

I AM GOING TO ENJOY MY HOLS!
avelyn

enough is enough.

2010-08-06T11:23:00.000+08:00

FUCK.

-sy

BACK, AM I.

2010-08-05T14:13:00.002+08:00

Back, am i?
or...
I am back!

life's been so busy that it somehow stopped my habit to blog. and, this is not good at all.
making me a grumpy, stressed, SICK girl. argh.
anyways, seeing julie blogging so enthusiastically, i decided to start posting some REAL updates instead of some stingy few sentences that makes you go 'huh'. i don't know how long my blogging will last though.

guess where am i right now?
ATTIC, again. i must say, FMS's The Attic is really awesome, nice place to study and meet up for projects and all. BUT i'm so tired of it already, coming here almost every single day for... oh yeah, you-know-what. what else man. SCHOOL WORK (sucks).

it's really stupid that i'm nearly always the earliest for group meetings lah. D:
i mean, i will be like "OKAY, i shall be the one to be late this time!" so, i reached half an hour late and realise..... my groupmates are ONE HOUR LATE. TADATADA. zzz. not that i'm furious or anything but just ZZZZZZ.

current analysis on my progress:
MM presentation: not-so-bad
MRM presentation: SHIT LAH-overran! otherwise, it's fine.
TVPROD: oh nooo :(
ADVERT presentation: GOOD-butWeAreLate ARGHH. whyyy.
CUCOM: the tutor is WEIRD; has a weird style of grading. TMR LAST LESSON!

NEWSWRITING: i hope i do well for FA2. havent got it back. and SERIOUSLY speaking, even though final project is dued tmr, my part is TOTALLY DONE. i got nth to do. so i'm doing report for the group. i can't believe i end up putting so much effort in this project that i ended up having this tiny weeny liking for it. but I SWEAR, if i still ended up scoring shit for this, I'M GOING TO EXPLODE. i hope things will be finalised soon. D: it's really not i kiasu lor, other groups all done liao. but i don wanna be a ass and nag at my groupmates. oh wellll.

iamsosick. ineedsleep. iamjustgrumbling. dontmindme.

HOLIDAYS ARE COMING.
&i dont have much plans yet.

there are some must-dos though...
1. C3 gathering on SAT
2. Go out on SUN (since i took leave off tuition)!
3. Study MRM & ADVERT exams (with julie? :D)
4. REALLY brush up my JAP
5. Work on my manuscript
6. Go have some dates with DEAR (hehe)
7. meet up my besties! (hope they are free)
8. maybe i should get a JOB. any lobang?
9. EXERCISE (gym/badminton!)

I JUST CAN'T WAIT FOR HOLS. even if i get bored to death, anything beats school.

avelyn
---
&it's not i'm fast;
you're just slow.
---
sometimes,
with the slightest drift,
you start to fear,
the gap...
might never close again.
but y'know,
fear stems from care,
care stems from love.
---

7th anniversary

2010-08-01T17:08:00.001+08:00

happy anniversary for tmr, dear.
even amidst the busy days,
i still love ya.

avelyn

change.

2010-07-30T12:00:00.003+08:00

recently, i realised i wasnt myself, changing in ways i didn't expect. Sometimes, this side of me was so ugly that i was disgusted with myself. but, the reality is uglier and you can't blame me if i got conformed by this stupid world.

anyways i'm so damn glad MRM and MM presentations are over. right now, left tvprod, newswriting and advert. gosh. bad feeling, bad progress. it's kind of unfair, that i'm trying so much and yet not getting enough in return.

i'm so tired. everyday when i reached home, eat dinner, do work, trying to stay awake and speaking little to my family. i'm sick of it.

today is really a cold day,
how i craved for some warmth.

avelyn

struggle for survival.

2010-07-28T15:34:00.002+08:00

gosh, life's so hectic; i cant catch up.
----
when it's all over, i'm gonna blog every single day.
---
during the worst times, you realise who's more important to you,
who's worth you caring for, who's really there.
---
i have no idea why it's especially hectic this time round
with countless, merciless projects and all.
but i'm trying, trying my best. really.
i hope, i get a decent fruit of labour. D:
---
i never knew, completion of work can gives so much satisfaction.
---
yawns i really need some good sleep.
---
oh no, i dont wanna fail jap later. dont wanna.
---
I MUST SURVIVE!
---

avelyn

argh.

2010-07-23T11:59:00.000+08:00

you just fcuking irritates me.

avelyn

pretty little things.

2010-07-23T10:05:00.001+08:00

I WANT I WANT I WANT. :(
haizzzz.

avelyn
a shopper's dream.

evaluate.

2010-07-21T17:37:00.001+08:00

evaluation on my life:
life sucks.

avelyn :(

losing grip.

2010-07-15T22:05:00.002+08:00

最近真的很忙。我似乎迷失了自己。
找不到开心的理由。不知到我到地在做什么，或者要什么。
就这样，一直得过且过，能过一天就过一天。
只能一直希望我能找到那光芒，把我引回我该走的轨道。
我是不是做错了？我好害怕，好不安。
--------

there's so much i want to achieve in my life.
but among the top ones, i just wish my parents could live a better life.
stress had given me a different kind of courage. to think or do or ignore certain things i once will never will. recently i'm so tired of life.
yesterday, when i lie down finally on my bed at 5.30am, i thought of many things that are waiting ahead of my day.
and i dread it.
i dozed off closing my teary eyes.

i can think of so many things i can or want to do if reality could stop biting in.

it is a temptation for me to break out of this life. any hope, i might just cling on it.
silly, isn't it.

but trying just isn't enough.

i can no longer guess or even have any clue what my future is.

i think when my hope slips away and my efforts failed,
i'll just be condemned.
nobody, nobody will understand what was on my mind,
what i was really hoping for.

i'm freaking tired,
give me a break.

avelyn.

a step on the ledge.

2010-07-12T12:35:00.002+08:00

life's busy, life's boring.
so, i've decided not to keep so much on the safe side anymore.
no risk, no gain.
anyway, been trying hard to keep up with school work and so far... not so bad, not so good.
even though there are times when days seem slow and tiring, there are times that contribute to my smiles as well.
when i have no idea what's the next step i should be taking in my life, i look at the photos. and, it takes away my uncertainties for a little while.

avelyn.
thank god i have you.

sweet anniversary.

2010-07-05T09:40:00.003+08:00

hahaha, i gave up at the lips part. :p

Dear enjoying himself ~~

say cheezeee!

MY ROSES!!!

Happy 6th anniversary, dearest. :D

2/7/10 was one of my happiest day this year - my half year anniversary with dear! :D
so, we ate at a nice italian restaurant, had some wine, exchanged gifts, slacked by singapore river and he sent me home! & we changed our FB status!

heheheheee.

love you lots.
Avelyn

first petal,
our story materialized.
second petal,
our love magnified.
third petal,
your hand in mine.
fourth petal,
your kiss is magical.
fifth petal,
you're what matters most.

phew.

2010-06-29T22:33:00.002+08:00

i think tv production didnt go too bad today!

at least our guests are there and are super friendly. yay. one of them is LKH, and the other one was a reporter from SPH whom i made friends with. good job everybody :D i think FMS is really pretty cool and something i should be proud of, PUT ASIDE all the hard work and stress and whatsnots.

i scored BADLY for newswriting. i. am. depressed.

ARGH. i tried.

i re-do my tv script and submitted it. hopefully, i will get a better grade.

STRESS.

:( :( :(

i havent do jap, havent do advert, havent do mrm, havent havent havent had much sleep.

sucks. life sucks bad.

fridayfridayfriday.

------------

i still think no matter how long a couple are together,

it shouldn't lead to just going through the motions.

every date of anticipation,

every call of concern,

every goodbye of reluctance,

every minute of happiness, together.

------------

avelyn

holidays sucks.

2010-06-24T17:46:00.002+08:00

seem to be working harder during hols instead. life sucks. :(
what the hell is a news angle anyway. talking to KJT stresses me.
there's never a consultation when she will never stop saying "what is your news angle" argh.
my whole weekend is screwed by news writing :(
there's so much i wish i could do. so muchhh.

haiz.

avelyn
just cant pinpoint
this frustration
within me.

birthdays, happy.

2010-06-14T18:37:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TRICIA AH GIRL!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JIUNJIA BFF!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FANSHENG!

------------

GET WELL SOON FROM DENGUE PLS, GODSIS!

------------

birthdays are supposed to be happy occasions.

even when things go wrong, birthday lead should still be happy.

on birthdays, birthday leads are supposed to be in the limelight and smiling throughout.

birthdays are supposed to be a special day, their day.

that's what i thought.

but as we grow up, birthdays no longer are how we dream it to be.

there seems to be so much other factors... while for some, it simply just become another ordinary day. it's quite saddening.

i think troubles should be put aside when you are supposed to be happy. but then again, nowadays... being happy isnt such an easy task anymore.

-------------

it was raining outside

but as i looked out of the bus window

i was smiling.

it was raining outside

but as i walk through the malls

my hand was holding yours.

but as i walked home

glancing into your eyes

it was already night.

--------------

avelyn

i wish life

isn't full of flaws.

yet,

ever wonder,

where did we get

our definitions

of flawless?

mass photos update!

2010-06-11T14:20:00.006+08:00

lol these photos are taken with carmen, pics from bgc camp and C3 outing.

------------

currently waiting for an email. i hope the person replies soon or my newswriting is screwed. :(

ARGH.

----------

avelyn

sad.

2010-06-08T11:40:00.000+08:00

i am so sad.
koh doesnt seem to like my group and criticised my article so much. i have no idea what she wants and how to edit it. she seems to not like everything. and keeps scolding my group for lateness. i'm not even late lah but i still got to endure all her lectures.

I AM EXTRA EXTRA STRESSED.

all my projects are KILLING ME.
and i wish they can stop going DOWNHILL and makes me feel like everything is SCREWED-UP.
:( :( :(

whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. my assignment is due on FRIDAY LEH.
i dont want to go for tvprod ltr.

SAVE ME. >:/

avelyn

OLLY STEEDS

2010-06-07T11:39:00.001+08:00

OLIVER STEEDS CAME TO MY LECTURE =O
omgggg. ^^ lovelovelove.

avelyn

coming out the wrong way.

2010-06-04T14:15:00.003+08:00

;(i feel nauseous, STILL.

argh. and so, i'm currently stuck in a dilemma to eat or not to eat.

but then again, i'm currently alone at home so... if i gonna make myself smt, it's probably maggie which i rather not eat. :( something's wrong with my stomach man. it's like gurgling. and my cough is taking my breath out of me. oh my. :(

but oh wells. i'm better already! no fever at least.

---------

some updates:

bgc camp was cool and we went through it fine. just that there are quite a few cock-ups. haiz. a little disappointed? but oh wells. first for everything.

yesterday went steamboat at bugis with TRICIA, JJ, QUANMEI, JIA'EN. miss them loads!!!

it's jc hols now apparently. anyway i didnt really care abt my cough or my stomach yest so i just eat whatever's there whether i like it or not. cause i've figured after eating nothing much for 2days. i REALLY need to eat something. lol. anyways...

joke of the day:

why do blanghlahs like to run across the road?

ANS: blanghlahDASH

HAH.

photos of all to be up soon(:

---------------

anyways lit review scored very badly. and when i see it i just feel this sinking feeling. :(

lead test was not so bad which was surprising because i thought i suck at newspapers.

i havent done my FA1 OH NOOOO. due next fri. and my recording are screwed up :(

ad analysis was so easy that it's dubious. handed up anyway. dont have a good feeling :(

hope tv script and questionaire could get me good grades.

tv interview thing due soon too. haiz.

school was a rush of blur, hectic, uneventful, mundane, detached days.

that's all for school updates.

------------------

have you ever have these thoughts:

How can they do such a thing when it's something i would never have thought of doing?

if i'm in their situation, i would definitely do this; how is it possible that they don't think of it?

well, these kind of thoughts often came to my mind. but i realise it isnt very right to enforce my expectations on others just because i have the same expectations for myself. it's not because i have the wrong principles/expectations, it just that by doing that, nobody will be happy. i try not to, but it's really hard. you just keep on wondering what is on the minds of others, you just cant comprehend why they act/think the way they do.

but... i will try not to. that way, everyone will be happier.

----------------

avelyn

maybe it's about waiting.

feels like shit.

2010-06-02T11:22:00.002+08:00

been sick ever since bgc camp ended. went polyclinic and seen a retarded useless doctor.
didnt go school for two days. fever, flu, cough and whatever.
today, since MC ended and i've missed out so much, i forced myself to come school.
and all i've been feeling whole day is
i want to vomit
i want to sleep
i want to teleport and not move
feels like crap.
yet, there's so much waiting for me to do...

life sucks.
-----

it's the 5th month. do you remember not?
------

avelyn
i keep on waiting
by my phone
which kept silent
to my disappointment.

afresh.

2010-05-28T18:47:00.002+08:00

MY NEW BROWN SPECS. :D

happy girl because
-today i've finally went to National Museum for my newswriting assignment.
-today i went to trim my hair at QBhouse (which i originally thought is some lousy salon) but the service there turns out to be awesome (:
-today is the start of my camp 3d 2n (including comm prep) & it's gonna be great

sad girl because
-my bag was fking heavy and i carried all my barang all the way to museum
-i got to do work during the camp

oh well.
enjoy while i can! :D

avelyn

life.

2010-05-24T11:25:00.002+08:00

saturday was pretty awesome. the gathering with C3. we ate at Chong Bang Steamboat buffet @turf city. hangout till super late because we slacked at the playground after the meal. didnt feel like going home. i feel great when i met them, feel like life is more normal. but oh wells, good day had to come to the end somehow. glad that parents was asleep by the time i reach home at 12.45pm. lol. hope ms quek like the present we bought. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MS QUEK.

anyways the next day is crap. maybe because we anyhow cooked and ate the previous night, i'm down with slight fever, flu and diarrhea. :( argh.

still, i came to school today. have been lagging behind so much, didnt want to dig myself a deeper grave. and so, first lecture: MM on finance. it's like ohmyshit, what the hell is the lecutrer talking abt?! all the math and business terms. another test i'm gonna screw up? :(

then, started talking to DEAREST CHARLENE about life and people. haiz haiz haiz.
it's really great to talk to somebody who shares the same sentiments, it just reaffirm that i'm not abnormal or anything. people are so unpredictable and so diverse. sometimes, you just don't know how to manage and communicate. sometimes, you just wish people of your own kind will stick together with you. oh wells.

did i mention i make specs with dear? cant wait to collect it. (:

gotta survive.
avelyn

tedious days.

2010-05-18T11:22:00.003+08:00

yesterday was horrendous. everything happens in a blur, so much that i didnt really know what i was doing. but me and sabrina managed to hand in a decent piece of work in the end. bad news is: skipped lunch, skipped two lectures and handed in 7 minutes late.

i was feeling a mix of emotions. by the time i reached bgc meetup, i was prepared to lose it and blow up at anyone that irritates me. but i didnt. which was a pretty good thing. bgc turnout are getting better and better and i'm happy. i hope the upcoming camp turns out well! looking forward to it actually; a long long break.

anyways the best things that happen to me yesterday were
seeing the dinner dear bought for me?
dear liking the wallet i bought for him?
crying all out with my parents hugging me?
now i know, why they say family are always there, even when all others fail.
love them lots.

note to oneself:
when i feel like giving up, think of gpagpagpagpaGPA.

avelyn
it's tiring when nobody trusts anybody.